Fear of Love

Love, love, love…so important in our lives. That elevated feeling, hmmm. Despite of the desire for it to happen, when it does, a lot of people do just about anything to sabotage it. Why is that? What is that fear of love, that costs great relationships, marriages, and sometimes even friendships to fail.

I don’t think we are born that way. Everybody has a built in desire/ability to love, but we get hurt here and there. Some deal with those hurts right away, and some push it way down, try to forget about them. The worst thing is when people decide they don’t want to feel ever again. Sometimes consciously, sometimes not. And than comes love like a hurricane anyway, without asking for permission to show up, and they start feeling again. You can’t choose to feel this and not feel that, so you feel the pain of old hurts as well. Those old wounds are surfacing, and some people recognize this as a chance to do something about them (I congratulate them), and others keep their promise to themselves to continue not feeling.

I don’t think I need to explain here what is the result of each decision. But I want to: in the first scenario old hurts got resolved, and the love got preserved, nobody got hurt any further, a real chance for happiness; in the second, old hurts that surfaced keep wounds wide open, unresolved, relationships ruined, more people hurt, and the love gone.

Both scenario requires decision making, a will, a big amount of energy, persistence, but the first decision is fueled with courage, the second with fear. What will you do when LOVE knocks on your door next time?


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